Somewhere between the day-to-day grind of freelancing writing and the 50,000-word book project that consumed September and most of October, I lost It. For a few months, I lost the magic/motivation/desire/mojo/ love that gets you up in the morning and guides you through being self-employed.
A lot of things have lead to this break. I try not to get super personal on the Internet, but there's been a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that I can't/shouldn't hide from. So, during the course of November, I'm trying to write my way out of the tiny, dark tunnel in my brain where I currently live. To do so, I'm planning to share a bit more than usual to be honest with y'all, and with myself.
Part of this funk came from mental_floss's decision to cease print publication. I've been writing a cocktail chemistry column for their website for three years, and still don't have a clear answer on if my work has a place.
Despite my long-running pieces on their website, I was never published on the print side. It was on my bucket list, which is home to ever more annotations of "not accepting freelance submission," "closed," or "wtf happened." But aside from the professional concerns, I've been reading mental_floss almost since publication started. When I was younger, it was a reminder that there were other nerds like me who got to share their smarts in an achingly cool format. It was a haven, and I wanted to be part of it. In a small way, I've met that goal, but it still falls short.
I'm also burned out. The never-ending cycle of freelance writing, the pitching, rejection/acceptance, drafting, editing, and submission, and the scramble to catch up after falling behind from family stuff, last-minute projects, and part-time jobs, has gotten me down. These days, I have to fight to dredge up any motivation to write even the shortest article.
But here I am. I'm doing what I know how to do: writing my way out. There's no way forward but through, so it's time to start hacking away and see what happens.
Join me for the next 30 days as I make daily blogging an intentional practice. Day one of #bloglikecrazy: Why take on this challenge?