Blogging Like...

Here we are, at the start of another November. We're fast approaching the fifth anniversary of this blog (what?) and I'm in a weird place. I've said it before: writing a book in seven weeks really killed my creativity and drive to write about anything.

For someone who fought hard to call herself a writer -- it took me two whole years of blogging and freelancing to do so -- it's tough to be at this point. This difficulty is compounded by the fact that writing is now my profession, and making a living off your words is tough when you can't come up with something to write about in the first place.

So, I'm starting out this month tentatively, with little plan for what I'll be writing or where I'm going from here. Have questions for my bartender/math tutor/writer self? Send 'em my way -- they may even end up as topics this month.

Catch me at Homewood Public Library this Friday for a class on modernist authors and their drinking habits! If you can't make it, check out my $20, nine video course on how to make whiskey your cocktail party superpower.

6 Articles I Barely Shared On Social Media

As both a deeply private person and a writer trying to build her portfolio, I've written a lot of pieces that I didn't share when they came out. Though I was proud of many of them, they weren't immediately available online and I forgot or the topics were personal enough that I could risk offending someone or there was some sort of error (from me or the editor) that overshadowed the awesomeness of the piece. Thanks to the marvels of modern technology, most of those errors have been fixed after the fact, but it was far enough after publication that I forgot to publicize the piece. Yikes. Anyhow, here's a short and strange look into my portfolio.

1. When "My $5,000 Wedding Budget" was published on Debt.com, we had gone a few hundred dollars over budget. I also don't like to admit that wedding planning triggered panic attacks, or that I think the modern obsession with weddings can turn the celebration into a pageant and that icks me out.
2. I profiled winemaker Randall Grahm for VinePair, and forgot to send the article to him for several weeks. He's an odd but interesting bird, and I got to learn about viticulture. Wine is cool.
3. This article on the geeky side of clarification in cocktails for Tales of the Cocktail came out a couple weeks after the third death in our family in ten weeks. Big, huge, sloppy thanks to the editors for their flexibility and generosity. I was too shellshocked to do anything other than read over it and file it away for later.
4. Sometimes I write about agriculture. FarmLife magazine is super cool, but the full issues don't go online for a bit. My first feature for them focused on a pair of brothers farming up in Quebec.
5. For the first few months of the year, my main coping mechanism was compartmentalization. Though many of y'all may not believe it, I wrote an article about the history of the Cosmopolitan for mental_floss.
6. People get real snarky about recommendations for starting a home bar. Really, people get snarky over booze recommendations in general because they're based on opinion. There's no hard and fast rules, guys, mmkay? Drink what you like. Here's my take for mental_floss.

This post topic was inspired by the suggestion to blog about 5 things you know. This month, I'm attempting to blog my way forward by writing every day as part of Blog Like Crazy.

The Almighty Bucket List

Piecing together a new bucket list is one of my biggest goals for the month of November. As I may have mentioned if you've seen me or my social media since September, I wrote a book. It's a cocktail book (surprising, I know), but it's not the book I've wanted to write. I'm still trying to figure out what else I want to do with my life, but that's still to come. Here's what I've got so far:

• Write a helpful book. Hello, vagueblogging! Recipe books are awesome, but I want my work to have a positive impact.
• Write a fun cocktail recipe book. This one will be a collaboration with a dear friend and extremely talented artist. Again, details to come.
• Successfully pitch The Atlantic, Marie Claire, and Fast Company. I've written for The Atlantic's CityLab, but I'd like to write for the publication itself. As for the others, I've got the byline bug, and want to see my name in other publications I admire.

Every time I think about quitting writing, my brain immediately starts the "But what would I do instead?" Literally every time this happens, the first 1,283 thoughts that come to my brain are ALL writing-related. As in, "Oh, I could go back to school for anthropology. Discover would LOVE me!" or "Bama has a great MLS program. Library work is so conducive for writing and reading."

Seriously, brain?

The farther into this internal debate I get, the more I think that writing is not the issue. In fact, writing has become a non-negotiable part of my life. Perhaps the lesson here is that the life of a freelancer isn't for me. For someone who values her independence and mornings, the lack of structure, benefits, and regular work also makes me anxious. But changing careers costs money, and the money has to come from somewhere. Unless something drastic happens, that, for now, is my way forward.

This month, I'm attempting to blog my way forward by writing every day as part of Blog Like Crazy.

Do or do not. There is no try

Since I graduated college, I have resisted defining myself by my job title. After being raised to be the author of my own story, the idea of describing my identity with others' words makes me feel like some manic pixie dream girl. Once I quit my day job to bartend and freelance, I have fewer reservations about shaping titles like these to fit my life.

Not using these titles became an excuse. Denying that I am a writer and a runner gives me the slack I need to put off blog posts and speed drills. Not admitting these parts of my identity gives me the room to fail without fear of consequence. If I'm not a writer, having a pitch ignored or rejected is just part of being an amateur freelancer. If I'm not a runner, spending the afternoon on my couch instead of the sidewalk isn't neglecting a training routine, it's personal care.

The truth is that I am both a writer and a runner. My spreadsheet of story ideas and markets won't pitch itself, and I'll never be able to run 3.11 miles if I don't lace up. Pretending that I have no responsibility to these titles won't cut it anymore. I simply can't ignore it anymore.

Tonight I work my first solo bartending shift at Octane. Though I haven't been too hesitant about calling myself a bartender, I qualify the title by adding "baby" or "in training." Truthfully, I will be learning new parts of the craft during every shift I work. If I keep using a qualified title now, I may never stop, further hindering my ability to hone my skills.

Needless to say, the denial and qualifications stop now. I am a writer, runner and bartender, and should direct my energy to develop these abilities instead of denying them. It's about damn time.

Today's title comes from Yoda's speech to Luke.